Singapore Rebrands PMD House Fires As Low-Cost Indoor Cremation Services

The Land Transport Authority has designated exploding lithium-ion batteries as a revolutionary “rapid home-heating” solution for HDB dwellers.

Officials claim that violent infernos caused by modified e-scooters are merely “spontaneous atmospheric upgrades” to test public housing integrity.

Residents are encouraged to embrace the charcoal aesthetic, which LTA insists is the latest trend in industrial interior design.

“Wah lau, last time I charge, the fire so big I don’t even need BBQ pit liao,” said local enthusiast Ah Huat.

SCDF firemen have reportedly been instructed to bring marshmallows to all calls to boost national morale.

“Actually quite shiok, free sauna in my kitchen, but my eyebrows all gone already,” complained Auntie Tan.

The government reminds citizens that a charred flat is a small price for a 25km/h thrill ride.