Singapore Man’s $20k Carbon Bike Successfully Obstructs Three Public Buses

Singapore has reached peak mid-life crisis as local men trade dignity for carbon-fibre frames costing more than their children's education.

These aerodynamic "athletes" spend $30,000 on Italian bikes to achieve the blistering top speed of a briskly walking auntie.

Local cyclist, Tan Ah Seng, was spotted proudly blocking three lanes of peak-hour traffic while wearing spandex tighter than his credit limit.

"Eh, my bike frame lighter than my conscience, but if I don't wear this neon Lycra, how people know I got money?" Tan shouted.

The government is reportedly considering a "Visual Trauma Tax" for middle-aged men whose bulging midsections resemble a bag of angry ferrets.

"Wa lao, aerodynamic is key, even if my belly still vibrate like siao," he added.