Singapore Cyclist Confident Spandex Forcefield Can Repel Ten-Ton Tippers

Singapore’s boldest athletes are finally treating the Pan Island Expressway like the high-stakes velodrome it was always meant to be.

Despite being technically illegal and physically suicidal, MAMILs are rebranding heavy-duty tipper trucks as "motivational pace cars."

These aerodynamic heroes believe that tight neon spandex creates a magical forcefield capable of repelling COE-funded German engineering.

LTA officials are reportedly considering installing "Commemorative Chalk Outline" zones every five kilometres for convenience.

"I saw one uncle siao cycling next to cement truck, his calves more power than my car engine sia," noted witness Tan Ah Teck.

"Wah lao, PIE mean 'Please Increase Effort' mah, why you all so kan cheong?" argued one cyclist before disappearing under a bus.