LTA Mandates Megaphones For Commuters Discussing Their Private Medical History

The Land Transport Authority has officially surrendered to the sonic terrorism of Singaporean commuters by installing industrial-grade subwoofers in every MRT cabin.

The initiative ensures that every passenger can enjoy the high-definition details of a stranger’s colonoscopy results or their daughter-in-law’s perceived failures.

Since basic etiquette has been discarded as a colonial relic, officials now require commuters to broadcast their most intimate domestic disputes at a minimum of 110 decibels.

"Liddat best lor, I no need to repeat myself to the whole world mah!" shouted local resident Mrs. Lim while holding her phone like a sacrificial offering.

"If the whole train don't know my husband useless, I talk for what? My voice very power one!"

"Wah lau, last time I talk so loud people stare, now I feel like superstar sia," added a nearby uncle.