Yishun Resident Discovers Fastest Way To Exit Neighborhood Is Downward

Yishun has once again proven to be the only place in Singapore where the laws of physics are actively encouraged to take a life of their own.

A 71-year-old woman was found at the foot of an HDB block, presumably because she realised that taking the lift in Yishun is a gamble with fate she wasn’t willing to lose.

While the police claim no foul play was involved, locals suspect the gravitational pull in the North is simply stronger due to the concentrated misery of the area.

"Aiya, every day also got something happen here one lah," said a nearby resident while calmly finishing his kopi-o. "If not cat kena cut, is old person flying. This one is just normal Yishun transport system."

Authorities confirmed that landing on the pavement remains the most popular retirement plan in the district.