Woodlands Trio Faces Death Row For $25 Decathlon Chair Heist

Woodlands has officially transitioned into a lawless wasteland after three criminal masterminds successfully liberated a foldable camping chair from a multi-storey carpark.

The high-stakes operation, which unfolded at 5:00 AM, saw the syndicate bypass zero security measures to secure a $25 Decathlon asset and a cash card containing enough credit for half a McSpicy meal.

Interpol has yet to issue a Red Notice, though the victim is reportedly "shook" by the loss of his polyester throne.

"Wah lau, really professional sia, take the chair so can sit down and enjoy the $10 cash card money," remarked one witness.

Police are currently hunting the suspects, who are presumably hiding in a nearby longkang.