Singapore Slurp: Woodlands Residents Shocked That Dumping Trash Attracts Fucking Mosquitoes
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Woodlands Residents Shocked That Dumping Trash Attracts Fucking Mosquitoes

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Alex Wong
Monday 30th March 2026 @ 14:03 SST
🤪1,194

Residents of Woodgrove Ascent are reportedly baffled to discover that treating their new precinct like a secondary landfill has actual consequences.

After months of stuffing renovation debris and rotting cai fan into recycling hoppers, these high-IQ homeowners are shocked that the local insect population has accepted their invitation to a 24-hour buffet.

“I expected a premium living experience, not to be the main course for a Woodlands mosquito gang bang,” complained one resident while desperately swinging an electric racket like a madman.

Marsiling-Yew Tee Town Council has politely suggested that residents try the revolutionary lifestyle hack of not being disgusting, lazy slobs.

Apparently, mosquitoes don’t give a flying fuck about your BTO property value if you’re living in a literal dumpster.

The flies remain unavailable for comment as they are currently busy colonising a discarded packet of half-eaten Maggi Goreng.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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