Woman Arrested After Returning Newborn To Mall Without Receipt

Authorities in Bangkok have reminded tourists that the ‘Return to Store’ policy generally requires a valid receipt and significantly less placenta.

The suspect reportedly mistook the mall’s sanitary bin for a high-tech boarding school with a very flexible graduation date.

Security was alerted after a cleaner noticed the rubbish bag was ‘unusually heavy,’ usually a sign of hidden treasure or a total legal nightmare.

CCTV footage showed the woman lugging a pink suitcase, proving that even while hiding a corpse, one must stay on brand for the Gram.

Police eventually caught her at a bus terminal looking like she just walked off the set of a budget slasher film.

Next time, just dump your dignity at Nana Plaza like a normal person, you bodoh.