Trump Sends Paratroopers To Iran To Lower Sinkie Petrol Prices

Thousands of elite US paratroopers are currently falling from the sky like overpriced GrabFood orders to ensure Iran finally learns how to share its lunch.

While “Operation Epic Fury” sounds like a shitty Netflix mobile game, the real goal is seizing oil hubs before the price of 95-octane at Shell hits five dollars.

Singaporean car owners have expressed “cautious optimism” that American nineteen-year-olds are dying in a desert just so their COE-expired Altis can reach Johor Bahru more affordably.

“If a few thousand ang mohs need to jump out of planes to save me twenty cents a litre, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make,” noted one kiasu Bukit Batok resident.

Meanwhile, MINDEF clarified that Singapore will remain neutral, as our soldiers are currently engaged in the more dangerous mission of finding air-conditioned food courts.