Trump Negotiates With Himself; Bilahari Kausikan Calls It “Strategic Genius”

U.S. President Donald Trump has entered "advanced negotiations" with his own reflection, as reports emerge he is being briefed solely via 2-minute "sizzle reels" of things blowing up.

While Iran mocks the leader for "talking to himself," Singapore’s resident geopolitical sensei Bilahari Kausikan insists this is actually a sophisticated "multilateral internal dialogue."

Local analysts suggest Trump’s strategy of yelling at a mirror is more effective than traditional diplomacy, mostly because his reflection doesn't demand war reparations.

With the Iranian leadership thinner than a secondary school girl’s eyebrow, Pakistan is begging the U.S. to stop assassinating everyone before the peace treaty has to be signed by a stray cat.

Singaporeans remain unbothered, provided the "sizzle reels" don't include our Grab delivery fees.