Toxic Milk Recalled Before Sinkies Develop Natural Resistance

The Singapore Food Agency has tragically halted a nationwide initiative to breed the world’s most resilient toddlers by recalling eleven batches of toxin-laced infant formula.

Authorities expressed concern that if infants continued consuming the cereulide-infused milk, they might inadvertently become immune to the general toxicity of living in a hyper-competitive society.

"Wah lau, give them a bit of bacteria only must recall meh?" one disappointed parent remarked while scouring the recycling bin for a discarded tin.

"Last time we eat dirt also never die, now vomit a bit only the gahmen scared until like that, so weak sia."

Health experts worry that without regular exposure to industrial toxins, the next generation of Singaporeans will lack the internal fortitude to survive a basic budget food court meal.