Tiger Beer Abandons Singapore Because It Is Too Fucking Expensive

Asia Pacific Breweries announced Tiger Beer is ditching its Tuas factory because even a multi-billion dollar company thinks Singapore is too expensive.

Around 130 Sinkies will be retrenched, giving them free time to sit at coffee shops and stare blankly at the beer they once made.

Heineken stated that moving production to Malaysia and Vietnam will "deepen regional capabilities," which is corporate speak for "we found cheaper labour."

“Walau eh, last time say Singapore pride, now go Malaysia already? Then call it Kucing Beer lah! KNN!” shouted one local uncle while sobbing into his lager.

Heineken assured citizens that the brand’s “soul” remains in Singapore, primarily through overpriced marketing campaigns and Gen-AI-generated Instagram posts.