Thailand Counters Middle East War With Fifty Percent Off Shit

The Thai Commerce Ministry has bravely decided to tackle the escalating geopolitical chaos of the Middle East by offering half-price discounts on alternative-brand fish sauce.

Under the new “Blue Flag” scheme, mobile trucks will roam the countryside like ice cream vans for the impoverished, blasting sirens to alert villagers that survival-grade eggs have finally arrived.

Farmers are also being placated with “Green Flag” fertiliser vouchers, acknowledging that the only thing keeping the nation from total collapse is the subsidised price of literal animal dung.

“Eh, why our gahmen never give us Blue Flag trucks for Cai Fan?” asked one disgruntled Singaporean driver, Lim Ah Kow.

“Inflation so high, soon I need to go Thailand to buy cheap shit and eat cow fertiliser just to survive, KNN!”