Taiwan Opposition Leader Visits Beijing To Practice Her Kneeling Form

Cheng Li-wun is heading to Beijing to prove that "peace" is easily achieved if you agree with every fucking word a dictator says.

She claims she wants a "warmer spring," which is diplomatic code for "please don't turn Taipei into a burning parking lot."

The KMT clings to the "1992 Consensus" like a delusional ex who thinks you're "on a break" while you're already marrying someone else.

Sinkies are watching closely just to see if Cheng can fit Xi Jinping’s entire boot in her mouth without gagging.

Sucking up to China is significantly cheaper for Taiwan than buying missiles from those overpriced, unreliable ang mohs.

"We aren't destined for war," Cheng said, while checking if Beijing's hotels have better pillows than Taipei.