Singapore Slurp: Supertrees To Harvest Bio-Fuel From Comatose Lepak-ers To Power City
Lepak

Supertrees To Harvest Bio-Fuel From Comatose Lepak-ers To Power City

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Chloe Ong
Sunday 29th March 2026 @ 06:00 SST
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The Ministry of National Development has finally revealed that the Supertrees were never intended for tourism, but are high-tech harvesters for human indolence.

The "Passive-Aggressive Power Project" involves siphoning the stagnant brainwaves of horizontal teenagers and "vibing" couples to fuel the national grid.

Officials stated that the sheer amount of unproductive "lepak" occurring on the synthetic lawn is a goldmine for renewable energy.

"Siao eh, I just want to lie down and look at the chio lights, now they want my brain juice also?" asked local slacker, Jeremy Koh.

"Actually liddat also good lah, at least my useless life finally contributing something to the country, don't need to work so hard."

Citizens are encouraged to enter a state of total catatonia beneath the structures to ensure maximum voltage for the upcoming Formula One race.

Anyone found reading a self-improvement book or checking work emails will be forcibly removed for "energy sabotage."

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