Stubborn Auntie Fights SBS Staff For Right To Be Roadkill

Boon Lay residents were treated to a free live performance this week as an elderly woman attempted to merge with the asphalt.

Assistant Supervisor Wong Chee Chuon heroically intervened before a double-decker bus could turn the woman into a 2D pioneer generation commemorative stamp.

Despite the auntie’s passionate screams for everyone to "fuck off" and let her enjoy the warm bitumen, Wong remained professionally composed.

"Our yearly training covers everything from fixing EZ-Link readers to handling seniors who identify as speedbumps," Wong stated while dodging a flying slipper.

The woman was eventually dragged to a grass patch, much to her disappointment, as she had nearly achieved her dream of causing a three-hour traffic jam.

She was later conveyed to the hospital to complain about the lack of hospitality.