Stomper Disappointed Livestreamer’s Massive Assets Don’t Include Free Shipping

Local busybody May is absolutely kan cheong after discovering that Shopee Live has essentially become OnlyFans for people who buy discount sponges.

Despite reporting streamers for showing "big assets," Shopee clarified that heavy-duty cleavage is essential for supporting the weight of Singapore’s failing retail economy.

“Think of the children!” screamed May, who spent six hours meticulously screenshotting every millimetre of side-boob for her Stomp submission.

Shopee responded that as long as the nipples don’t accidentally scan a QR code, the platform remains a "family-friendly" titty bar.

The streamer later told viewers to stop being "pussy" and focus on the $2 sunflowers, or she’d unleash even more un-vouchered logistics.