StarDream Cruises Charges Sinkies For Middle East War Proximity

StarDream Cruises has graciously allowed Singaporeans to help fund global warfare by slapping a $15 “Explosive Surcharge” on their nightly buffet binges.

The operator clarified that while passengers are busy queueing for cold prawns, the ship’s engines are weeping tears of pure gold due to those pesky missiles in the Middle East.

“Siao ah, $15 can buy two plates of chicken rice plus extra meat leh,” shouted one passenger. “Every night pay more just to look at the sea? Might as well stand at Changi Beach for free!”

A manager hinted that if oil prices continue to surge, the ship will simply stop moving and let Singaporeans use their collective entitled whining to propel the vessel via sonic waves.