Spontaneous PAB Combustion Only Way To Guarantee Food Arrives Actually Fucking Hot

A local Power-Assisted Bicycle (PAB) heroically sacrificed its lithium-ion soul on Balestier Road to ensure a $12 delivery didn't drop below lukewarm temperatures.

The combustion, described as "more spectacular than the NDP," transformed the sidewalk into a makeshift bubble tea crematorium.

Emergency services arrived to find the rider allegedly using the inferno to char-grill chicken wings while waiting for the SCDF.

"Wah lau, I thought is Ghost Rider filming here sia," said onlooker Ah Huat, while filming for TikTok instead of helping.

"The flame so big, I can smell the wok hei from two blocks away, damn aromatic."

Authorities are investigating if the battery was modified for speed or failed under the weight of four carrot cakes.