Sinkies Shocked To Discover Flavours That Aren’t Just Salt And Sadness

In a desperate bid to feel a single spark of sensory joy, Singaporeans are flocking to foreign hawkers who haven’t yet had their souls obliterated by the local culinary landscape.

Algerian chef Yahiaoui El-Hani quickly realised that while North Africans enjoy artisan bread, Sinkies will suffer a violent physiological breakdown if a meal doesn't feature a mound of white rice.

Meanwhile, Iraqi-born Omar Alnaimi was forced to rebrand as "Pete" because locals genuinely could not distinguish his name from their own grandmothers.

"Wah, the lamb got taste but in a good way, not like my primary school canteen," remarked diner Cheryl Ng.

"I never knew spices existed outside of a Maggi curry packet, damn shiok sia."

The trend confirms that Singaporeans are finally bored of eating flavoured cardboard.