Sinkies sell internal organs for overpriced BTS vibrating plastic sticks

As BTS prepares to descend upon Seoul like a shimmering K-pop plague, Singaporean fans are liquidating their futures to afford vibrating plastic.

Resale prices for the "Army Bomb" have skyrocketed to levels that make luxury property look like a budget value meal.

One local fanatic, who recently auctioned off a parent’s medical fund, insisted the purchase was vital for spiritual survival.

"Eh, you think easy ah? If I don't wave this stick, my life got no meaning already lah," the fan shrieked.

Financial experts suggest the average Sinkie’s net worth will soon be measured entirely in glowing lithium batteries.

"Wallet pain is temporary, but Oppa's sweat is eternal," another bankrupt buyer sobbed while eating plain bread.