Sinkies Run Over Python Twice To Ensure CBD Commute Uninterrupted

A local reticulated python has perished after discovering that Singaporean drivers have less empathy than a HR manager during retrenchment season.

The reptile was pancaked twice along Cecil Road, proving that even cold-blooded killers aren't fast enough for the CBD rat race.

Rescuers noted the snake lost an eyeball, likely because it couldn't believe a Grab driver would actually accelerate into a three-meter predator.

"Wah lau, I thought it was one big speed bump only leh," said one delivery rider who performed the second lap.

"Snake never wear high-vis vest, so ownself check mate lor."

Authorities reminded wildlife that Cecil Road is for predatory bankers, and slithering without a permit carries a death penalty via Toyota Wish.