Sinkies Panic As Only Man Stronger Than Gahmen Dies

Following news that Chuck Norris has died, or "allowed the Reaper to win out of sheer boredom," Singaporeans have descended into absolute existential dread.

The Ministry of Home Affairs has reportedly raised the national threat level to "Sibei Jialat," as citizens realise the only man capable of roundhouse-kicking a flash flood back into the Longkang is no longer on duty.

Local aunties were seen hoarding canned abalone, fearing that without Norris to hold the tectonic plates together, the MRT might finally encounter a delay longer than five minutes.

"Wah lau, if Chuck Norris can die, then we all confirm plus chop gone case," sobbed delivery rider, Lim Kopi.

"I thought his beard could deflect summon uncles, now we all finish liao!"