Sinkies Outraged Veteran Actor Refuses To Stop Having Talent

The annual Mediacorp circle-jerk hit a snag this week as Singaporeans expressed horror that a veteran performer might actually win based on "ability" again.

A fellow actor defended the seven-time winner, suggesting that trophies should represent excellence rather than a charitable handout for the aesthetically pleasing but emotionally hollow.

The radical suggestion that merit should dictate victory has sent shockwaves through a nation built on participation trophies and pity.

"Wah lau, give chance lah!" screamed one obsessed fan outside the television station.

"He win sixteen times already, like that the younger ones how to buy Rolex?"

The broadcaster confirmed that until the veteran is physically mummified in his signature eccentric headwear, no one else is legally allowed to feel special.