Sinkies Forced To Sell Second Kidney After New Fuel Hikes

Singapore’s benevolent fuel cartels, Sinopec and SPC, have coordinated a second consecutive day of price hikes, effectively turning petrol into liquid gold.

As China-headquartered Sinopec leads the charge, local oil giants are frantically squeezing every last cent out of drivers who mistakenly thought they could afford to leave their driveways.

"Wah lao, everyday increase! My car now only for decoration, I walk until my shoes also got puncture," complained one disgruntled driver.

A corporate boss confirmed that additional "temporary fees" are essential to ensure the only thing remaining stable in Singapore is the rising blood pressure of the middle class.

A frustrated commuter added: "Siao liao, petrol so expensive, next time I just grab a horse and go office."