Sinkies crash Pension Fund lines demanding government buy K-pop idol

Inspired by the room-temperature IQ of South Korean fans, local K-pop devotees have successfully crippled Singapore’s national pension hotlines.

The mob mistakenly believes that because state investment arms own half the planet, they surely must own the rights to every boy band in Seoul.

Thousands of frantic teenagers and perimenopausal aunties flooded the system, demanding the government use their life savings to kidnap a departing singer back into his group.

“My retirement don’t matter already lah,” one fan wailed.

“If the authorities can spend billions on fancy gardens, why cannot buy my idol? Take all my money also can, just bring him back!”

An official confirmed the only thing the fund currently guarantees is a lifetime of clearing food trays until death.