Sinkies Applaud Singer Who Prioritises Cash Over Not Choking

A Chinese singer has been hailed as a spiritual leader by Singaporeans after nearly choking to death on his own profit margins.

The performer interrupted his own set to complain that the confetti raining down was funded by his own agency, rendering every inhaled scrap a financial tragedy.

Local fans, who would sell their own kidneys for a 10% discount, reacted with erotic levels of excitement at this display of extreme frugality.

"Wah lau, if I was him, I will catch the paper and sell back to the karung guni man," one Singaporean fan noted while calculating the loss on a Casio calculator.

"Don't breathe so much lah, breathe is free, but that paper cost money leh!"

The singer is now expected to be offered citizenship for his kiam siap energy.