Sinkie Sells Kidney To Fund Fluted Wall And Track Lights

Singaporeans are now legally required to offer their firstborn as a downpayment for a minimalist living room that looks like a high-end prison cell.

Local interior design firms have successfully transitioned from "creative consultants" to "legalised extortionists" with a penchant for gold-foiled invoices.

One designer, who identifies as a "Spatial Shaman," recently billed a couple $15,000 for a mood board that was literally just screenshots from a Swedish teenager’s Pinterest.

"Wah lau, the quote for one feature wall can buy half a Mercedes already sia," complained local homeowner, Terrence Tan.

"The ID say the 'wabi-sabi' aesthetic very expensive one because need to make the house look broken but in a classy way, understand or not?"

Industry experts confirm that a 500% markup on Taobao lighting is the only way to truly manifest "quiet luxury" in a 4-room BTO.

Most firms now include a complimentary suicide prevention brochure with every final quotation.