Sinkie Proudly Empties Retirement Fund Into Overpriced 3-Room Concrete Coffin

A local man has achieved the ultimate Singaporean dream of transforming his entire life’s work into a pile of dusty, overpriced bricks.

Lim Teck Huat successfully drained his CPF Ordinary Account to a satisfying zero, ensuring he will be clearing plates at hawker centres well into his hundredth birthday.

The government hailed the transaction as a triumph of fiscal stability, noting that liquid cash is far too "spiritually dangerous" for the common peasant to possess.

"My house damn kilat, but now every night I eat wind and drink tap water for dinner," Lim remarked while tenderly licking his granite countertop for mineral nutrients.

"Last time I thought CPF is real money, now I know it is just for buying one very expensive master bedroom toilet bowl."

Financial advisors suggest that by 2060, the only way for Sinkies to retire will be to physically consume their own property one floor tile at a time.

"No need worry about coffin also, I just ask my son bury me inside the bomb shelter lor!" Lim added.