Sinkie Named World’s Top Judge of Overpriced Metal Circles

The Foundation of the Grand Prix d’Horlogerie de Genève has officially appointed a Singaporean entrepreneur as the supreme leader of judging shiny gears that cost more than a condo.

The boss, who spent decades convincing the public that a mechanical watch has a "soul" rather than just being a very expensive way to be five minutes late, will now lead a jury of people who haven’t touched a Casio since the 1980s.

While the global economy collapses, these experts will gather in Switzerland to decide which gold-plated wrist-weight best represents the "spirit of horology."

"Siao liao, this one is the ultimate level of bragging rights," said one local watch collector.

"Last time we only buy, now we tell the Swiss their Swiss-made thing is damn ugly also can!"