Sinkie Horrified By People Finding Happiness Without A Fucking Rolex

Local investment banker Kelvin Teo was reportedly rushed to the A&E after discovering that people in Terengganu are "happy" without a six-figure annual bonus.

"How the fuck do you even track your joy without a spreadsheet or a gold-plated credit card?" Kelvin asked while shaking violently at the thought of a life without status symbols.

The news that satisfaction can be found in a river rather than a luxury watch has been labeled a "national security threat" by local property agents.

Authorities have reminded citizens that "nature" is merely undeveloped land that hasn't been properly monetized or air-conditioned yet.

Kelvin has since been prescribed three hours of scrolling through LinkedIn to restore his belief that life is a miserable competition.