Sinkie Feels Like Fucking Billionaire In Chongqing After Buying $2 Mala

Local man, Aloysius Tan, reportedly experienced the intoxicating rush of being a member of the 1% this week after discovering that a bowl of authentic noodles costs less than a single bus ride.

Tan, who usually survives on discounted 7-Eleven sandwiches and the cold indifference of his landlord, spent his entire life savings in four days after realizing his Singapore Dollars actually have value outside the cursed radius of the ERP gantries.

"I felt like a god," Tan said while vibrating from a level-4 mala overdose and carrying twelve bags of snacks he didn't even want.

"In Singapore, $20 gets me a dirty look from a waiter, but here, it buys me a three-course meal and a motorcycle taxi ride into a literal bomb shelter."

Economists confirm that China’s retail recovery is being propped up by basic Sinkies who become financial monsters the moment they see a 'Buy 1 Free 5' sign.

Chongqing officials expressed gratitude to the flood of Singaporeans who are finally spending money now that they aren't being bent over by their own cost of living.