Sinkie Couple Finds Viewing Joint Account Balance Better Than Sex

Local couple Marcus Tan and Cheryl Ng have officially ditched physical intimacy for the raw, erotic thrill of a shared OCBC 360 account.

The pair reportedly spent hours yesterday moaning in ecstasy while watching their collective interest rate climb to a staggering 4.65% per annum.

Experts suggest that in a city-state where cocktails cost more than kidneys, seeing a five-figure balance is the only thing capable of inducing a Singaporean climax.

"Liddat more shiok than hotel staycation sia," Marcus whispered, his hands trembling while refreshing the mobile banking app for the fortieth time.

"I see the 'Salary Credit' notification and I immediately wet already," Cheryl added, while ignoring Marcus’s attempt to actually hold her hand.

The couple confirmed that while their bed remains dusty and barren, their liquid assets are performing with a vigour that no blue pill could ever replicate.