Sinkie Chooses Early Onset Dementia Over Giving Up Supper Prata

New research confirms that your nightly Maggi Mee habit is officially turning your brain into mush.

Scientists warn that ultra-processed snacks are causing Singaporeans to forget basic shit, like where they parked their car or why they entered the kitchen.

However, local residents have collectively decided that a slow descent into madness is a small price to pay for a crispy plain prata and a Milo Dinosaur.

The study suggests the "brain fog" from sugary drinks leads to poor financial decisions, which explains why you still pay $4.50 for a goddamn iced kopi.

Government officials are reportedly concerned, but mostly because they can't tax a person who genuinely forgets they owe money to the state.

Ultimately, if you can’t remember your childhood trauma, the supper was technically a health food.