Sinkie Actress Needs Scream Pillow After Learning Basic Mandarin

In a move that proves the Singaporean education system is effectively a psychological torture camp, a local actress has been forced to carry a ‘scream pillow’ after the sheer trauma of speaking five consecutive sentences in Mandarin.

The performer, who previously treated her mother tongue like a radioactive isotope, reportedly suffered a total nervous breakdown during rehearsals for a Chinese play.

Experts suggest her brain, conditioned by years of elite English theatre, experienced a "fatal logic error" when confronted with tonal nuances.

“Wah lao, one Chinese sentence only my stomach already pusing until like washing machine,” the victim sobbed into her plushie.

“In school I score C5 and happy one, now must speak so much? My mental health gone liao, serious.”

Doctors have prescribed immediate exposure to Netflix to prevent a permanent linguistic coma.