Singtel Redefines Three-Day Network Collapse As ‘Extended Momentary Congestion’

Singtel has bravely pioneered a new frontier in corporate gaslighting by declaring a three-day total service collapse as mere “momentary congestion.”

The telco giant insisted that thousands of Singaporeans being unable to load TikTok or check their bank accounts was simply the network taking a “prolonged meditative pause.”

Management clarified that “congestion” is a state of mind, much like the sanity of customers paying premium prices for 5G that currently operates at the speed of a carrier pigeon with a broken wing.

Disgruntled users were seen wandering Orchard Road in a daze, blinking at the sun and rediscovering the horror of actual face-to-face human interaction.

“Yesterday I cannot order my McSpicy, now three days already still no signal,” lamented one local uncle.

“This one not congestion lah, this one is total constipation!”