Singaporeans Vet Puppies More Strictly Than Future Sons-In-Law

NParks has launched a registry to help Singaporeans ensure their designer puppies have better medical records than the average Olympic athlete.

The guide encourages “responsible breeding,” allowing status-conscious owners to verify a poodle’s bloodline with more intensity than a pre-marital private investigator.

Apparently, checking if a kitten has “clear eyes” is now a national priority, lest a Sinkie accidentally adopts a creature with the same level of lethargy as a civil servant on a Friday afternoon.

The SPCA insists buyers visit breeding premises, though most locals just want to ensure the facility has better air-conditioning than their own secondary school.

“Eh, if the dog no certificate, how I know it’s not some random longkang mutt?” complained one prospective owner.

“Spend five thousand then the dog heart attack, then who pay?”