Singaporeans Revert To Primal Savagery Over $1 Petrol Discount

The Land Transport Authority’s naive belief that yellow paint could restrain the primal urge of a Singaporean seeking a discount has officially collapsed.

Dunman Road has devolved into a post-apocalyptic wasteland where Mercedes drivers trade their remaining dignity for ninety-five octane liquid gold.

Motorists have interpreted the new yellow junction boxes not as traffic signals, but as "designated arenas for combat and illegal queue-cutting."

"LTA think one yellow box can stop me is it?" shouted a Grab driver while U-turning across three lanes of traffic.

"My time is free one, but this one dollar discount is worth my mother’s life, sibo?"

Commuters were forced to board buses from the middle of the road, dodging Teslas driven by men willing to commit manslaughter for cheap fuel.