Singaporeans Enraged After SIA Disgracefully Places Third Best Globally

Singapore has declared national mourning after Singapore Airlines humiliatingly slumped into third place behind Qatar and Cathay Pacific.

Angry mobs gathered at Jewel Changi to demand the immediate resignation of every flight attendant who didn't smile hard enough.

"Wah lau, third place? You think this is primary school sports day? If not number one, don't come back and malu us lah!" one furious commuter screamed while trying to climb the Rain Vortex.

The airport boss was seen frantically polishing floor tiles with his own silk tie to distract from the national shame.

Meanwhile, locals dismissed Scoot’s fifth-place ranking as a "glorified flying sardine tin for peasants."

The state is now considering banning the colour bronze to prevent further psychological trauma to the population.