Singaporeans demand national mourning after SIA places pathetic third

The news that Singapore Airlines slumped to a humiliating third place has sent the nation into a spiral of existential dread.

Grown men were seen weeping in the streets of Raffles Place, unable to fathom how a "Doha-based" carrier and—even worse—a Hong Kong rival managed to out-class the pride of the Little Red Dot.

"Wah lau, number three only? Might as well walk to London lah," lamented one frequent flyer, who was seen ritualistically burning his loyalty card.

One disgruntled passenger added, "Cathay beat us? Aiyo, end of the world already! Last time we are number one, now we are just glorified taxi with wings."

Meanwhile, Scoot’s fifth-place ranking among budget carriers was ignored by everyone, much like a middle child’s birthday.