Singaporean Thief Discovers Pockets Are Not Legal Pokémon Gyms

A local enthusiast at Suntec HobbyCon has successfully demonstrated that the primary skill required to be a Pokémon Master is actually petty shoplifting.

The aspiring criminal attempted to evolve his bank balance by sliding a $960 Shining Celebi card under his phone, a tactical maneuver known in the professional underworld as "The Virgin’s Gambit."

When the vendor caught him red-handed, the thief offered a high-level defense by claiming he didn't mean to accidentally teleport the rare holographic cardboard into his trousers.

"Eh hello, my bad ah, I thought this one is free sample leh!" the thief reportedly shouted before fleeing the convention hall.

Organisers remind Singaporeans that while "Gotta Catch 'Em All" is a catchy slogan, it is not a valid legal defense for theft.