Singaporean Driver Mistakes Thai Policeman For Particularly Squishy Speed Bump

A local motorist has demonstrated the legendary situational awareness of a Singaporean by claiming he was “completely unaware” he had weaponised a white Ford Ranger against a Thai traffic officer.

The driver, apparently suffering from a severe case of main-character syndrome, managed to pulverise eight traffic barriers before turning a 52-year-old policeman into a temporary hood ornament.

“I thought is just uneven road lor,” the motorist reportedly told investigators while checking his truck for bloodstains.

“I was looking for the nearest Mookata spot, how to see the mata standing there? Everything also white and blurry what, I thought is just decorative obstacle only!”

Experts suggest Singaporeans are so pampered by smooth expressways they now perceive living organisms as minor aerodynamic inconveniences.