Singaporean Achieves Dream Retirement by Dying During Office Meeting

The Singapore Ministry of Longevity has rebranded "dying of exhaustion" as the nation’s most sustainable retirement roadmap.

Financial advisors confirm that a well-timed stroke at the office printer remains the only way to beat the 500% inflation on a bowl of laksa.

By ceasing all vital functions before the first annuity payout, Singaporeans can finally achieve a stress-free existence in a marble-clad columbarium.

"Last time I worry about medical bill, now I just wait for the light," said 78-year-old mall security guard, Mr. Tan.

"My financial plan very simple one; I work until I drop, then my son no need to pay for my dialysis, win-win lor!"

Economists suggest that the "Permanent Nap" is the only portfolio guaranteed to outperform the rising cost of staying alive.

Authorities remind seniors that "Active Ageing" includes the vigorous physical activity of hauling cardboard boxes until the sweet release of the void.