Singapore Woman Successfully Reaches 13th Circle Of Housing Hell

A local woman has entered the national record books after achieving a flawless 13-game losing streak in the government’s prestigious BTO lottery.

While most citizens consider three failures a tragedy, this persistent applicant treated the system like a high-stakes casino where the house always wins and the jackpot is a 99-year lease on a glorified pigeon hole.

“I apply until my hair white already, still no queue number,” the applicant lamented.

“HDB tell me go apply at ulu places with no demand, but I not mountain tortoise leh, I want stay near MRT, not stay with monkeys in Tengah!”

Officials clarified that after the 14th consecutive rejection, applicants are automatically eligible for a commemorative cardboard box and a firm handshake from their MP.