
Singapore Woman Evolves Third Arm To Carry More Luxury Bags
Geneticists have confirmed that a Singapore woman has successfully evolved a third arm to better navigate the predatory landscape of Orchard Road.
24-year-old Cheryl Tan reportedly manifested the extra limb while sprinting from Ion Orchard to Paragon to secure a limited-edition puffer tote.
The new appendage features a titanium-strength grip specifically adapted for holding twelve designer paper bags while simultaneously refreshing a luxury resale app.
"Liddat then song mah, one hand hold Koi, two hands hold Dior, still can swipe Tinder," remarked witness and jealous bystander, Jojo Koh.
Medical experts claim the mutation is a necessary survival mechanism for females who refuse to acknowledge any mall built before 2015.
The government is now considering a "Mutation Tax" to ensure these triple-limbed shoppers do not completely bankrupt the local male population.
Luxury brands have responded by immediately tripling their prices for three-sleeved silk blouses.
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