Singapore Woman Blames Toxic Personality On Literal Floating Space Rocks

Singaporean women have officially transitioned from "career-driven professionals" to "delusional cosmic vessels," according to a new report from the Ministry of Vibe Checks.

Local influencer, Cheryl Tan, recently ghosted her fiancé because his rising sign was "giving very much poverty energy."

"Eh, I not toxic lah, is just my Mars in Scorpio making me like this, okay?" explained Cheryl while burning sage inside a crowded Raffles Place elevator.

Experts suggest that the rise in crystal healing is directly proportional to the number of Singaporean girls who refuse to take accountability for their own shitty attitudes.

"Last week I accidentally key my ex-boyfriend car, but Mercury was retrograde so is basically the universe fault lor," said local girl Jolene Lim.

Astrology has become the ultimate "get out of jail free" card for women whose only personality trait is reading Co-Star notifications while ignoring their mounting credit card debt.