Singapore Teachers Given 9% Raise To Tolerate Your Brats

The Ministry of Education announced a salary hike of up to 9% for 35,000 educators, finally acknowledging that surviving Singaporean students is slightly harder than bomb disposal.

A senior official confirmed the "retention move" was necessary to stop thousands of staff from collectively fleeing to become Grab drivers.

Most educators noted that a 9% raise barely covers the premium liquor required to ignore your child’s TikTok addiction.

"Walao, 9% can buy what? One extra McSpicy a week only," one teacher screamed while huffing whiteboard marker fumes.

"Government give little bit then expect me to work until 10pm every day? My heart rate increase more than 9% already lor!"

The Minister remains confident that this pittance will keep educators committed to "nurturing" children who clearly hate them.