Singapore Sinkie Declares Bankruptcy After Ordering ‘Market Price’ Pomfret

The Monetary Authority of Singapore has officially reclassified local hawker centres as "ultra-high-net-worth investment zones."

Hungry citizens are now required to submit a comprehensive credit score check before being allowed to breathe the steam from a laksa bowl.

"Wah lau, last time four dollar can get meat, now seven dollar only give me the cucumber and smell of the chicken oil," complained local resident Tan Ah Kow.

Economists predict that by 2026, ordering a "set meal" will require the same level of financial due diligence as a hostile corporate takeover.

"I ask for more chilli and the auntie ask me for my bank balance, sibeh siao, better go home and eat grass," noted another traumatised patron.

Meanwhile, the "Market Price" pomfret remains the most volatile financial derivative in the country, capable of liquidating an entire family's inheritance in one bite.