Singapore Pop-Star Hires 6kg Lion To Maul Delivery Riders

A local singer and daughter of a footballing legend has officially replaced her human security team with a 6kg Maine Coon that identifies as a lion.

The predator is trained to neutralize intruders by shedding excessive fur onto their expensive trousers.

"Eh, the cat eye me like I owe him money leh, damn scary sia," whispered a delivery rider currently trapped behind a sofa.

While the beast mostly engages in tactical napping, its owner claims the feline’s judging stare is more effective than a restraining order.

"Now cat also take job, I take security license for what? Better I just meow for bread," complained one disgruntled human guard.

The cat is currently the only Singaporean officer allowed to lick its own anus while on active patrol.