Singapore Parents Auction Internal Organs to Pay ACS Independent Fees

ACS (Independent) has announced a fee hike that effectively transforms tuition into a high-stakes wealth management portfolio.

The prestigious institution now requires parents to submit a certified net worth statement and a vial of blue blood just to enter the car park.

"Wah lau, last time I only sell my car, now I must sell my liver and half my lung to pay for his IB diploma," said one father, clutching a dialysis tube.

To accommodate the rising costs, the school canteen has replaced fishballs with truffle-infused caviar and student IDs with gold-plated Rolexes.

"My son need the ACS brand name or not he become pauper, so no choice lor, I eat grass for ten years also can," another parent remarked while listing their corneas on Carousell.

Educators claim the fees are necessary to fund the school’s new subterranean particle accelerator and solid gold toilets.

After all, the "ACS Boy" brand is a luxury commodity far more valuable than a stable retirement or functional kidneys.